Just cropdusted the office
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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