Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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