That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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