are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
