Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
