He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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