He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
