New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
