Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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