I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
