Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I need a burrito and a hug.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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