dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
