thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
