guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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