Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
