No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize