I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
