make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
