he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
