Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
