I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
