If i could tip my vagina, i would.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
