Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
