Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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