I can text with my tongue
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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