I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize