Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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