I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
