I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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