We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
