No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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