I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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