im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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