Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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