Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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