PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize