OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
