i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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