why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
