apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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