also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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