Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
