And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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