My nipple is on Facebook.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
