How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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