Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize