is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
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you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed