Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting

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(512): View more from Texas

its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after

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(515): View more from Iowa

Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby

(1-515): View more from Iowa

What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(905): View more from Ontario

MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

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(607): View more from New York

When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

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(562): View more from California

I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.

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