see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.