My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...