i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
