I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
