Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
