according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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