A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
