so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
