do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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