Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Everything about him screamed your future.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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