You work out of a Hotel?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
