What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
