I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
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When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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