No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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